Repost from November 2015

Everything in my life is in upheaval.  It is not all bad, but it is true.  My thirty-year marriage is ending, I hope sooner rather than later.  I have sold one business and will sign the papers this week for the sale of the second one.  I am looking at a freedom that I have never had in my life

I was in the restaurant business and just hated every minute of it.  Ten years ago when I made the decision to purchase the business, I was doing everything I could to feel like I was important, especially to my husband.  After several bad, bad years I had finally pulled it out of the red when our parent company decided to make a major change.  It was going to cost more money, so when buyers showed up at my door I already had a pen in hand, ready to sign.
But now I find that I am on the verge of complete freedom and I don’t know what to do with it.  The kids are all in their twenties and live coast to coast.  Many of my friends are beginning to retire or are becoming grandparents, which will not be happening for a while here.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining.  I know I am the luckiest girl in the world.  But I don’t really have a compass guiding me, even a little.  Just a great big ball of nothing is in front of me.  Isn’t that always the way: when I am super busy I long for a day to sit in front of daytime TV and knit.  And when I have time to do that, I wish someone needed me.  Just as I am sitting here I am telling myself to relax.  Let life happen, because it is going to happen anyway.
In the meantime, I am going to finish a sweater that I started knitting.  I will start sewing again.  I am signing up for Pilates classes.  Yes, I am doing it all!
Also, many, many people are going to be calling me to hire me.  They are probably talking about me right now.  Don’t you think?
I am going to have a party…that’s right, a big party for Christmas.  I will show off my new apartment.  I’m sure that someone will bring a handsome single man to said party.  I will fall in love.  Wait, he will fall in love with me.  Better.  Everyone will envy my new found freedom and will comment on how my new life agrees with me.
The next day,  I will clean up…and probably cancel pilates class.
Paula