Self Discovery
Hey Girlie, it’s been a rough few months and weeks, hasn’t it? If you haven’t been touched personally by illness or unrest, you’re lucky. I’m lucky. And, I don’t know one woman who hasn’t used the time to re-evaluate a portion of her life. Money is an issue. Health is an issue. Safety is an issue. Everything is serious. So, I want you to take a breath and do you this week.
What do I mean by that? Anything! Do something for yourself this week. And, I don’t mean cut back on sugar. I mean do something this week that is frivolous and fun and only for you. That can be as small as buying a new mascara. It can be tacking on the extra mile on your daily walk. It can be having ice cream. Or break out a pair of heels that you haven’t had an occasion to wear and, well, wear them anywhere, even if it’s around the house.
Just do you this week, whatever that means for. Everyone needs a little attention and we single women who have been on lockdown may not have had enough of that lately. We’ve probably spent more time alone than some of our friends. We may not have had someone to tell us that the banana bread is great, or thanks for cleaning up the kitchen today. Not complaining, just a fact. So, it’s time for a little self-attention.
Make sure to make it as unimportant as possible. Kind of a self-pampering brain vacation. I want my Starting Over at Sixty girls to feel some relief from life this week. You would laugh if you heard what I am going to do (OK, I’ll tell you, I am going to wear a pair of false eyelashes this week. I know that sounds crazy, but I used to wear them every day and I found a pair in a drawer and thought I should give them a try for fun). That’s it. Nothing costly or wild. Just fun.
So, do you this week ladies. Have some fun. Don’t worry, the world will still be here if you have a moment of joy.
Read MoreIf there is one thing I’ve learned from the pandemic lockdown, it’s that I missed my social life. I had no idea how much I loved being around people until that piece of my life was taken away. After a couple of months, though, I had learned a valuable lesson, one that I intend to hold on to for a long time. That lesson? I learned to enjoy my own company. Were you able to enjoy your own company?
I had to, right? I’m my own roommate! The first couple of weeks were tough. I was so used to getting up at the crack and going going going until evening, and when the lockdown came it was a sudden stop on that train. Nothing. But slowly, I started relearning how to spend time with myself. I stopped racing. The calendar was clear. My day was an empty canvas. I could fill it with whatever I wanted, as long as it was an at-home activity for one. I picked up some old hobbies that I hadn’t had time for. I read. I watched TV. I listened to Podcasts.
Now, I’m worried that I have come to like being alone too much! I am finding so much joy in my new/old hobbies. I’m not up at 6:00 a.m. Make-up? What’s that? Heels? You must be joking!
And, my place used to look like no one lived there: I got up, got dressed and headed out the door. When I came home I headed right upstairs and peeled off my clothes and hopped into bed. Now, it looks like someone lives there. It looks like a home because it is a home. Someone does live there, me. It is comfy and cozy and just mine. I am happy there.
I hope we never have to be locked down again, but if we do, I know I will be more mentally and emotionally prepared. And, I want to make sure that I continue to have time at home, just with me. I have learned to enjoy my own company.
How did you enjoy your time during the lockdown? What did you learn about yourself?
Read MoreAs we open up our lives again, I want you to do one thing for me: take action now to improve your life moving forward from this pandemic lockdown. There, that’s it. Nothing more to read here, right? I just can’t think of a better time to re-evaluate, re-assess and re-focus your life.
As we’ve all been sitting at home, I’m sure I’m not the only one who cleaned out closets and pitched food from the fridge and donated fabric that I am never going to sew into anything: we have had plenty of time to clean up little messes at home. Now it’s time to clean up our “outside” selves.
Think about the thoughts that have been bouncing around in your head for these last few months:
- As soon as the weather breaks I am going to walk every day.
- I have loved not coloring my gray while I’ve been at home. Maybe it’s time to go gray.
- Wow, I honestly don’t miss the office one bit. It’s time to retire.
- I miss work. I can’t wait to get back.
- I know I can’t travel for some time, but this had made me so aware of how much I miss it. When it’s time, I’m out of here!
- I miss the kids. They are too far away and this pandemic has made it painfully obvious to me. By the end of the year, I want to move closer to them.
Do any or all of those sound familiar? All of them have gone through my head and probably yours over the lockdown weeks. I’m not sure which ones are actionable for me or which ones I should drop (none of my kids are ready for me to join them!).
But, if we fail to give our lockdown thoughts some serious attention and we go back to life just as we left it, we will have lost a lot of valuable insight about how we really feel. And we don’t want to lose that value. So, do something about it.
Make one change, just one change. Take action now to improve your life while you still have all of this on your mind. Better yet, write it down. When you are thinking about what you’ve loved and what you’ve not loved about being isolated at home, make a note. Your brain is telling you something: don’t ignore it.
Stay safe and stay healthy!
Read MoreI just noticed that one of my old posts for Sixty and Me has just been highlighted on the homepage, so I re-read it, and I liked it! In it, I talk about the fact that confidence is sexy, that an assured attitude is hot! You can take a look here.
Seeing that reposted made me realize that I am sick and tired of talking about being locked down, about illness, about restarting our country, and about how lonely it has been. Done, done, done!
It feels great to think about other attributes of our personalities like confidence rather than perseverance. I am happy to think about lightness of spirit rather than steadfastness. Hooray for giving thought to how I look rather than how fast I can get through the grocery store. I don’t mind saying that I miss regular life a little.
So please go to Sixty and Me and read it as if we aren’t under quarantine and lockdown and as if things will be more lively soon. And, while you are there, take a look at my other articles. I am very proud of my writing for that site. And, it is so interesting to read the comments from women from other parts of the world: it gives me a sense of all of us being so similar no matter where we are or what our circumstances.
Today, think about how you can improve your confidence as you emerge back into your new life. Has that confidence changed now that we have to be more careful with our personal interactions? How will you adjust?
While I know how careful we all need to be as we break out of our homes, please muster up the confidence that you once had, or you were working on before we shutdown. Incorporating confidence makes you feel like you have control over your surroundings and circumstances.
Stay safe and healthy!
Read MoreOne night about four years ago I was absolutely miserable. That’s it, just pure misery from head to toe. I had left my husband after more than 30 years of marriage, it was below zero outside and I was as lonely as I could be. I sat on my sofa and just started typing about those feelings and as I did, the words came pouring out of my fingertips. That really is how it felt. That’s how Starting OVer at Sixty was born.
Since that time I have loved writing about what being single and over sixty is like for me; the good, the bad and the ugly. Some of my posts have been written from the edge, for sure, and some have been offered with great enthusiasm. Sometimes the world has been my oyster and other times I was sure the sky was falling: many of you were right there with me from the comments.
Since that time my life has changed a hundred times: good, bad, good, sideways, bad, backward, good, bad and back to neutral. Sound familiar? When I write to you I always try to be open and honest. I want you to feel like you’re listening to a friend when you read Starting Over at Sixty.
Recently a friend let me know that she went back to the beginning of Starting Over at Sixty and read forward: she commented on how she felt like it reflected where I was then and where I am now and the evolution that it represents. Yay for that!
So, no matter where you are as a single woman over sixty, I hope you get encouragement from the site. Go back and “find” yourself in the archives: chances are if you’re feeling it, you will find a post about it.
Thank You!
And, thank you. Thank you for following Starting Over at Sixty over these last four years. You will continue to read about the highs and lows of being single in this phase of life, and again, the good and the bad. There is so much for us to look forward to and so much yet to discover so let’s do it together!
As always, please let me know if there is something you would like to see in Starting Over at Sixty. I want you to feel like this is home, a place to find community. I may be the creator of the site, but you are where the communication occurs.
Stay safe and stay healthy!
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