Starting over doesn’t sound that great, does it.  It implies that you started before, failed and now you have to start over again.  Rats!  But, as a new year begins I feel like I am starting over toward a new, exciting life in 2017.  In the past year, I lived on my own for the first full year since 1984. Wow!  And not every day was a picnic, that’s for sure.  There were a couple of times during the year when I just didn’t think I could do it.  I just couldn’t see a time when I would be happy again and that was ominous.  I had lost my intact family and that was never going to be OK.  Well, guess what, that is not going to be OK.  I am never going to have that and moving forward means having to pack that up in my suitcase and carry it with me for the rest of my life.  Sad but true.

But, the good news is that starting over means just that: it is time to start over.  I thought I was doing that a year ago at the beginning of a new year, but I had a lot more healing to do.  I remember that a year ago my stomach hurt every day when I woke up.  And, that same pain kept me awake at night.  The same thoughts played over and over in my brain like they were on a reel.  I couldn’t escape my situation and, I still didn’t want it to be true.

One year later, I am still sad that my children don’t have that fairytale family, but I enjoy my time with them so much more.  I get them to myself when we are together.  There is no tension.  I don’t have to keep trying to put lipstick on a pig, and I don’t have to keep trying to like the pig!  And, I don’t have to keep trying to make the pig not look like a pig ( I could go on for days).

So, now, in 2017, I am Starting Over at Sixty (yes, I have a few more days until that 60 turns to 61).  I feel like a million bucks.  I am lightyears ahead of where I was last year at this time, and isn’t that what reflection is all about?  Where was I and where am I today?  I may not be younger or thinner (never giving up on that) or smarter than I was 365 days ago, but I guarantee that I am happier and healthier than I have ever been and I am only getting stronger.

I feel like 2017 will be the year that I hit my stride.  I wish that had happened thirty years ago, but the good news is that I still believe it is out there for me.  And, let me assure you that if I can see a great future anyone can.  You may not be able to see or feel it right now, but keep working to find it.  It is out there.  Now, let’s get going on a great 2017!