elegant lifestyle
This weekend one of my best friends came to visit overnight. I hadn’t realized how few times I have guests in my place: outside my children, the number of times is NEVER. I was excited because I love my home.
It felt great to have my home neat and tidy. It is always neat and tidy, but when there is someone to see it I am happier getting it looking great. I looked forward to having someone actually see where I live because I love it and I’m proud of it and I wanted to show it to my friend. So, I was happy with anticipation. We had a great time together.
Fast forward to her heading home this morning. We had a wonderful 24 hours, as always. And I figured out what felt so good about showing her my new home: I got to show one of my lifelong friends who I am now, by way of my home.
As lifelong friends, she had seen my homes over the years and how I lived with my family. Then, she came to see me on the day after I moved out of my marital home and into a one-room loft apartment, it did not feel like a happy moment. And she saw this place for a moment when it was under construction before I moved in. It had been nearly two years since Z had been to my home.
My New Lifestyle
This time, for the first time in more than five years, I had the chance to show my life to someone who has known me in every stage. I am proud of who I am now and my home reflects this girl. I honestly didn’t know why I love my home so much and now I do: it’s me. It’s me right now, not who I used to be.
So, thank you Z. I was so excited for you to see my new life and now I get why it was so important for me to show it to you: it isn’t just a home, it is a reflection of the changes in my life.
If you aren’t living in a way that reflects who you are now, rather than who you were 10, 20 or 30 years ago, make some changes. You don’t have to spend lots of money or completely start over, but just make your home feel like you.
Read MoreRepost from 2/9/2016
My home has changed with my new life. I have always lived in older homes and mostly I have had plenty of room. Not that our houses were fancy, just houses with lots of room. A bedroom for each child growing up and a playroom. My husband and I each had our own dressing rooms (we had plenty of rooms, just no closets). Bathroom space was ample. And, I always had an office at home. As my children left the nest we continued to keep their bedrooms intact; however, my oldest son had to contend with his room becoming my craft and sewing room when he was away. He got over it.
A little background…when I was about 15 my parents split. We had to sell our house, and my Mom and I moved into an apartment. I hated it. I wanted to be an ordinary family and live in a regular house with two regular, married-to-each-other, parents. I was devastated by all of it. I loved my family and my house and my room, and now it was gone. I loved my home. Our new apartment was very cool and probably looked super glamorous to some of my friends. I hated it. Hate hate hated it. Have I made myself clear?
Now fast forward about forty-five years…my husband wanted to keep our house; the man who could not have been less engaged in any part of our home life now wished to maintain the house on the golf course. Shocking. So, my challenge was to find a place that would work for me and allow the kids to stay at my place some of the time when they are home. Of course, I want them all of the time, but we can’t always get what we want. I started looking for an apartment that could accommodate my dog and me, visiting twenty-somethings and my office. What I found was that I would be able to have all of those things if I stacked the children in the office when they visit. Interesting concept: air mattress, son, air mattress, son, air mattress, daughter. I kept looking. It was depressing, and it felt like I was going backward rather than moving forward.
I looked for a new place in the trendiest area of my city, but there was just too much vomit on the sidewalks after Friday and Saturday nights. I love being around young people but not at 2 a.m. when the bars close.
Then the clouds opened up, and a sunbeam was shining on a small brick building in downtown. The ad said it was a loft, but I had my doubts. My search had taught me that loft is a very loose term. I walked into a unit that would be open in a few months and … I … was … home. Brick walls, exposed beams and a concrete floor…it all screamed Paula. My kind of place.
Here is how I can best describe my apartment: one of my favorite TV shows of all time is Everybody Loves Raymond. I am sure I have seen every episode numerous times and can recite many of them line for line. Ray Barone refers to the “cafegymatorium” when talking about an area of the school building. Can’t you just picture it. The long tables, with bench seating and wheels that fold up and move to the side for volleyball, then the room is reworked again that day, for the Girl Scout Talent Show that evening. That’s what my new apartment is. The all-purpose living space. I am trying to come up with a one-word description. All I have is “offlibeddin” (think Armageddon). If you have any suggestions, let me know.
Read MoreMake your bed? Why? Well here’s why: for a while, I stopped making my bed. Why bother? And, I would leave the dishes in the dishwasher, washed, and just used them straight from there. Laundry, why fold it and put it away when I can just pull it right out of the dryer and put it on? I was turning into a lazy, who cares, frat boy, apartment dweller.
So what has changed? Nothing really, but now I know that those little things matter. They actually matter to my mood and energy from the beginning to the end of my day. Think about how it feels to get into a bed that has been made vs. how it feels to get into a bed where the pillows are already squished and you have to look for the top sheet hidden under the covers at the bottom of the bed. The reason we put our clothes away from the dryer is because they are now folded and neater and not as wrinkled. And, we put our clean dishes away because we need a place to put our dirty dishes, right?
I learned that the best part of keeping things orderly, even if no one else is around is that it’s not for other people to judge, it is for my enjoyment, my contentment, my mood. As I open the door to enter, I am not hit in the face with messiness and laundry that needs to be put away and dishes that are still in the sink or dishwasher. It is perfect just for me.
I also noticed that even though I love lots of scented candles, and I wasn’t burning them often because no one else is there to enjoy them. Well, guess what sister, now I burn them all the time because I like them and I like the way they smell. And, I have removed the plastic from the sofas (just kidding about that).
I liken it to the question, “Who do you dress for, men or women?” “Who do you keep your surroundings for, company or yourself?”
I am not a neat freak by a long shot but I have found that when I keep my place orderly, even if no one else sees it, I see it and it makes me happy.
So, whether or not you are starting over, the next time you awake in the morning, make your bed!
Read MoreThe Winter Blahs seem to set in about this time every year. It isn’t even February and we are already counting the days until the warm temperatures return. My best tip for beating those winter blues is with flowers in your home or office. They don’t have to be expensive flowers. Grocery store flowers are just fine. But make them colorful. And you can add more greenery to them to make a small bunch seem fuller.
I have two tricks up my sleeve for making flowers look great at home. You can’t just unwrap them from the store and stick them in a jar. I think they always look fuller when you cut them to fit the container better. By cutting a few inches off the stems the flowers stay close together in their container and look fuller. Not spread out. And, I always use a container that looks a little too small for a number of flowers I have. Nothing looks sadder than a small bunch of flowers in a too-big container, just sticking way out one at a time. Just take a look at the flowers here. They are held tightly together by the paper which makes them look full.Make sure you give them a trim at the bottom every day so they have the chance to drink up more water.
Make sure you give them a trim at the bottom every day so they have the chance to drink up more water. You will see how much water they can take in because you will have to refill the container often. Enjoy.
If you really want to stretch your flower dollars further, use several tiny vases. You can even put just one bloom in each, on the dinner table or buffet, to make a low “line” of buds. Color without breaking the bank!
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I live in a one-room apartment. It’s a loft with concrete floors and brick walls and I absolutely love it. But when it comes to storage, there isn’t any. When I left my husband I left behind a pretty big house with a big, remodeled kitchen. I entertained a good amount and had lots of dishes and serving pieces that I brought out just for special occasions. While I still love to entertain, those days are over.
I am not complaining. Moving to a smaller space has freed me up from all of that stuff, and I could write a self-help book about that freedom! Everything worth having now has to do double or triple duty. And, my go-to accessory is a great mirror. It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money (the one in the photos here is from T.J. Maxx).
My Ottoman
I use a mirror on an ottoman in my “living room” to put it to work as a hard surface (the ottoman unfolds into a single bed for the times all of my kids are in town). The mirror makes it a perfect coffee table.
My Holiday Decor
I found some really pretty glass balls in a blush color last week at Lowe’s on sale and put them on the mirrored coffee table and I have an instant holiday display that looks beautiful.
My Serving Tray
As a nibbling station for a holiday party, I used my handy-dandy mirror and piled it high with different colors of grapes, lots of cheeses, figs, crackers, olives, and other fruit. I used cake stands to create some height. It was a big hit.
Anytime I use mirrors as serving pieces, or just as my coffee table, I make sure to put several candles on top. Candles on the mirror are so sparkly and warm.
The mirror that you see here has a mirrored “frame” that I think works well, but you can find one that suits you. Try this at home and you will figure out all kinds of ways to use your mirror. When you aren’t using it for anything else, you can hang it up and look at your reflection in it while you pat yourself on the back!
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