It happened last night. I was trying to fold up a big dog cage and I couldn’t get it to fold. I was cleaning out a closet and had to fold up the crate to get it out of the closet. I worked and worked to no avail when it happened: I had an absolute meltdown. Crying, screaming to no one, the works. And while I felt foolish when it was over I realized that the occasional meltdown is OK.
I just needed another pair of hands and there wasn’t another pair. Now, I am a hard worker, I am tough, I am resilient and I am creative. I can come up with a solution to almost everything, but I was stuck. I felt like there was just no way to get this job done and I was beaten. It was a stupid dog cage but it was winning and I came unglued. I started to cry and scream at myself that I was tired of doing everything on my own with no help from anyone. I sat on the edge of the bed and felt sorry for myself for a few minutes, crying.
Then, just like that, I stopped. I sucked it up and went back over to the closet and figured out how to get that cage folded up and out of the way. It wasn’t that I couldn’t do it, I just felt sorry for myself for those few minutes. But, my little breakdown gave me a couple of insights.
First, I remembered the fact that when I was married I was having to do everything on my own anyway, even though I had a husband. Participation on the other side was scarce. So really, nothing on that front has changed.
But, the most important lesson I learned from falling apart, was that after I stopped I felt better. I had a meltdown, wiped my nose, then got up, folded the kennel with ease and finished the task. When I sat down again, I had to chuckle to myself about my hysterical moment.
I needed that. I needed to feel sorry for myself for just a few minutes in order to turn my attitude around for the evening. I needed to take the time and boohoo, then remember that I am not much more alone than I was for so many years in my marriage, and now I have peace of mind for the other 23 hours in the day.
Today, I am thinking about how quickly misery can pass and how worth it a good cry can be. Try it!
