Month: July 2017
I am pretty much OK with the way I look. Of course, I could always look better, and I wish I weighed less, but what else is new? There are things, however, that no one tells you about aging and what it does to the body. Just as no woman tells you what it will feel like to push a human out of your vagina, no woman goes to the dark side to let you know the horror of what lies ahead when you look into the mirror during the last 30 or so years of your life. Well, get ready, because it is not pretty. Take notes if you dare.
The Arms Race
I work out pretty regularly so I feel like I should see at least a little muscle in my arms. But, no matter how hard I work or how much I lift, when I raise my arms, let’s say to dance, there is a force so powerful that it begins a ripple at the shoulders and continues down to my elbows. It is unstoppable. It isn’t just skin: it is skin then kind of a buffer layer, then what I can only refer to as blubber. You could power a lantern for a week with my upper arm “material”. I don’t remember when it happened. I believe that if I had my arms liposuctioned they would look similar to my dog from behind after being neutered. Need I say more?
Under my arms, my armpits actually, I have developed what I lovingly refer to as gobblers. They resemble the thing that hangs off of a turkey’s beak. I spoke to a plastic surgeon about them a couple of years ago, and he lovingly referred to them as pit-tits. What girl doesn’t want to hear that whispered in her ear? Could anything sound more lovely? More charming? He said that it was just breast tissue. Breast tissue? I honestly don’t need more thank you. I don’t need backup breast tissue. They aren’t quite big enough to tuck into my bra. I might be able to tape them down like a Kardashian getting into a low cut gown. The combination of my pit-tits and my swinging upper arms is why I do not wear sleeveless tops unless I am trying to frighten someone, for example, to keep the middle seat clear in my row on a flight.
De-Feet
The final piece to this Little Body of Horrors has to do with my feet. I don’t know about you but, I remember seeing my Grannie’s feet when I was young. The thick, discolored nails and dry skin were rough and scratchy. She had to go to the doctor to have her nails cut because they had thickened up with age. Let me repeat that; she had to go to the doctor to have her toenails clipped. And my Mom had worn high heels for so long that she had to go to the doctor just to have the calluses shaved off the bottom of the balls of her feet. Again, medical intervention for foot maintenance. So let’s talk about mine. My feet are so dry sometimes that they catch when I drag them across the sheets on my bed at night. The skin is sharp, even though I get regular pedicures. The woman who gives me those pedicures can barely cut my toenails because they are so hard and thick. I don’t know what color they are because I refuse to look down until there is polish on them again and the earth returns to its axis. When I leave, they are all shiny and moist, and in just a few hours they are back to their old gross, sharp selves.
So, is there any good news? Is there any way to be happy when the body rebels? Absolutely. Just be happy. Do what you can or what you want with your looks then forget them. You are not going to look thirty again, ever. Think about what your life looked like in your thirties: most likely it was full of babies and toddlers and laundry and cooking and cleaning and just plain working non-stop everyday. It is exhausting to think about, right? Well, we deserved to look good then. And now, we deserve to have fun. To live a life that is enjoyable and full, and to be at peace with our looks.
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I was attending a conference for bloggers last month and a woman, who was closer to my age than most of the attendees, sat down next to me and we started to chat. She told me that she was from Canada and had developed a product that stops women’s’ breasts from bouncing when working out, especially running. I am a D cup, reduced from a DD cup so I was all ears. I do run a little and while I always thought that my super-duper sports bra kept me in check, I recently passed by a store window and got a glimpse of my moving reflection and it was just not the case. She said she would love to send me one and began looking in her big bag for a measuring tape. I told her my chest is 43″. “How do you know that,” she asked me. I explained that I am a knitter and we know these things. She offered to send me an extra-large Buband right away. I was skeptical.
About a month later I received my Buband and was ready to try it out. It came in an envelope with no instructions. I was putting it up under my boobs, then straight across my boobs and thought it was another useless accessory. I then went online and took a look at the video on their website and realized that I was trying to use it “upside down.” If you are interested, watch the video by going to the link below and all your questions will be answered. The Buband goes above the breasts, not below. It doesn’t hold them up, it forces them down, actually restricting movement. I did a lot of jumping around and running in place in my bathroom without my Buband creating a visual in my mind to compare (not a pretty visual, but a visual nonetheless), then did the same thing with it on. There was a huge difference, night and day actually. I went for a run and I am sold. The Buband does what it promises, it holds the breasts in place for running and other sports. It is a game changer for those of us who have had to wear more than one sports-bra at a time, or even bind our breasts to prevent painful and embarrassing bouncing.
The price is just under $40. Hooray for Buband!
https://buband.com/pages/how-it-works
Disclosure: Starting Over at Sixty received compensation, in the form of product, from the company whose product we reviewed. We test each product thoroughly and give high marks to only the very best. We are independently owned and the opinions expressed here are our own.
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If you follow Starting Over at Sixty you know that I write a lot about being purposeful in planning your life. It really doesn’t matter how old you are, but as I age I am aware of having a limited time on this earth. No gloom and doom, just fact. In my head, I have 30 more good years (fingers crossed, even more, and I hope not less). When I was young I had an infinite amount of life ahead, and maybe that’s the way it should be for young moms working in and outside the home. It was too hard to think of anything more than the day ahead. Now, all I have to do is look in the mirror to be faced with the truth. So, I am trying to be much more deliberate about what I want my life to look like and how I want to spend my time. I feel an inner urgency that I never felt when I was younger. And, coming from an unhappy marriage to a very sad divorce, I am ready for lots of fun. In fact, Fun is my middle name! It is time for me to write my own life script.
Visualize the Life You Want
My first step has been to visualize what I want my life to resemble. I don’t want to always be running from one place to the next and from one task to the next. But, I do want to be busy and active and vital. That means building a lifestyle that allows me to be just that. For me, intentionally including more workouts in my week is important: they make me feel better and give me more energy. I schedule workout classes and sessions with my trainer and give them the same importance I would any other appointment. If I do it during the day, then I get showered and changed and back to my routine afterward. If I can’t get it in during the day after work is fine. I used to give myself a “treat” by not exercising during the weekend: no more. At least one of the days I get a workout in and feel better for it.
Know Yourself
From my 30+ year marriage, I know this: you can never find true north when you are living a life that is contrary to everything you know to be right. And it only took me 30 years?! I know myself and always did, but now I listen to that voice inside instead of trying to change it. I follow my heart as much as I always did but now I try to be smarter about it. I am much more in tune with my inner compass. I know who I am and I listen to my inner conversation rather than trying to change it, which allows me to live a happier life.
My Script
If I were to write a script for myself for a normal week it would look like this:
I write posts each week and work on StartingOveratSixty.com, working on the social media, submitting posts for other sites like Huffington Post and Sixty & Me and corresponding with followers accordingly. I also write content for a web design firm as an intern and help with some client acquisition. I work out about an hour most days. I usually have lunch and/or dinner with friends. I take my dog to the dog park about once a week. I see a movie and do a little shopping. I like to read and I like to knit while binge-watching something trashy. I sing in a citywide choir that allows me to also sing with women in the state prison. I love that and it fills my heart.
Now, if I write a script for the year I will also include:
My children live across the country so I like to visit them whenever I can. Writing for Starting Over at Sixty allows me to do that from anywhere and that was purposeful. It is important to me to travel with my children at least once a year so we can all be together on an adventure, whether it is in the U.S. or International. So, if I were traveling for a total of three months every year that would be about perfect. I don’t like to go longer than three months without seeing any one of them.
Finally, in order to be here for more than 30 years, I have to clean up my diet. that is the part of the script where the sad music comes in. Nothing more to say about that.
Now, Add the Surprise Ending
I have in my head some additions to the script that would be more than the cherry on top, they would be the edible gold leaf! I will keep those to myself for now, but if any of them were to come true, I would post a boomerang of me tap dancing! One might include me being on Jimmy Fallon, promoting my appearance on SNL with my husband, Dwayne Johnson. Edible Gold Leaf!
I would love to hear from you on what your script looks like. Do you want to make changes to it? do you want to re-write it? The most important thing is that you have a script that you get excited about today and every day so you can have your own happy ending. Stay away from mine!
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